Personal Prayer Project Day #3

Morning prayers said without any PROCRASTINATION.... yipee!! But once again... right in the middle "tinkle" "tinkle" goes my cell phone... but hey... baby steps...

Life is good what can I say.... with each prayer I am feeling more relaxed and comfortable. I sometimes have so many thoughts running thru my head that I don't know what to say first... I guess having too much to say is better than nothing at all... I am eager now to get on my knees and share my day with my Heavenly Father... thinking about all my many many blessing is also a good way to start and end a day... hard to have a bad day when you list all your blessings!! I am still having a hard time remembering to say night prayers...but I have not forgotten yet.. so there is still hope for me...

Last night went dancing... LOL this old lady can still bust a move!!

Personal Prayer Project Day#2

Today was a good day.... I feel good about myself because I am being obedient in doing what I should. I did procrastinated in saying my morning prayers... But I DID get them in...

*Note to self: TURN CELL PHONE to quiet... hard to concentrate on prayer when you have a text message waiting.

I will have to admit that I almost... well I did forget to say my prayers. Thanks to a late night call from a friend... and during our conversation we talked about prayer... and right in the middle I remembered... Oh I felt bad. When the phone call was over I jumped out of bed and said my prayers...

I need to work on feeling more comfortable when saying my personal prayers... I feel I need to relax and just say what is in my heart... No one but Heavenly Father is listening... When I think about it... I am just so happy when my kids come to me and tell me about their life. I don't care in what order they tell me... or the words they choose to use... and I am sure that Heavenly Father is just happy that I have finally come to him to share my daily thoughts with him

I just need to relax and talk... Like that is difficult for me.

Day tow = Successful

Meg

Personal Prayer Project Day #1

Last night while I was teaching Seminary... I had the great idea... to challenge the kids to say their prayers twice a day and journal about it... I even gave them the option to SKIP doing the Seminary homework if they did the Personal Prayer Project... When giving your class a challenge.. there is usually a double reason... they students need it... but the teacher needs it MORE!!

Day 1... has started out fantastic... the day is full... but I am on top of it with a smile and giggle... I can feel the spirit with me my heart is just so full!!

The blessing of day One was my heart stayed full all day long... I just felt so blessed!! I have good friends that are always available for a laugh and pick me up... I also had a VERY productive day!! I worked constantly on getting things done and caught up... I have a long way to go to be all caught up!!

Day One = Sucessful

Meg

Calling!!

Last month I was asked if I would like to be the 2009-2010 Seminary teacher for my Branch. I accepted the assignment... But I was never called... I went to the Stake Seminary Training meeting. I started to attend the special classes that were taught by our area CES teacher... and I had yet to be officially called... When I asked out Branch President about it... he told me that he had been told by the Stake Presidency for me to go ahead and attend all the classes... that when the Stake comes back up to our Branch it will all be taken care of...

So yesterday... and hour before Church I get a call from out High Council man asking me to please come to Church a few minutes early... which of course I said yes... and had no idea how I was going to make it on time ...let a lone early... but I was able to get Angie (my client) up and going and some how... I made it to Church 10 min before starting... To be honest... I had been prompted to get up and get going early.. and I rolled over and ignored it and went back to sleep... dang I hate it when I ignore promptings... I always regret it...

So I meet with the Bro. Fowels our High Councilman... and he officially calls me to the calling I have already accepted... verbally and in action.. but I am relieved that the time I have invested was well spent... I am then sustained in Sacrament... After Sacrament I was set apart.

I have been set apart for every calling I have ever received... I am a very picky about that! I always feel I want all the help and blessing I can get from a calling... with feeling so inadequate for being a Seminary teacher... I made sure I was going to get set apart!! So after Sacrament Bro. Fowels set me apart... and like I said I have been set apart for EVERY calling I've had... and I have to say that the blessing I received from Bro Fowels was the most poignant blessing I have every received... he asked that I have assistance in EVERY area that I feel so lacking... as Bro Fowles gave me the blessing ... I just sat there and weeped.. then on to crying... and I felt so loved and I felt so strongly that Heavenly Father really knows me... the good and the bad!!

So... now is the count down to the first class... the studying begins... and the many many hours of prayer!!

Changes...

In the past several years my life has gone through some dramatic changes... I know my friends and family know that Kevin and I separated 3 going on 4 years ago. And, I know many of you wondered why aren't we divorced yet... I have asked myself that many.... many times... The best answer I can come up with is... with Kevin living in California... I didn't have to deal with him, and I wasn't even considering getting into another relationship.... so living in limbo was the easiest.

Then back in January when I had a mighty change of heart and reactivated myself and went back to Church... many things changed inside me... I let my anger towards Kevin go... and once I did that... The damn broke... all the emotions the anger had been blocking came flooding in... the sorrow.. the loneliness... the fears... and I was actually able to look towards my future with an adventurous spirit... and now I am anxious to see what lies before me...

After several conversations with Kevin about divorcing... some went okay...many didn't. We had a hard time with the property settlement. After a few months... I went ahead and hired an attorney and filed for divorce. Kevin was not happy that I did... but that is a whole different conversation!! I know for me I did the right thing... to I was hoping to hear from my attorney this week about a court date..but nothing yet....

Since January I have been working towards being worthy to once again hold a temple recommend... I have been going to Church every week and really enjoying it.. I've had a few issues to work through... I was recently called as the weekly Seminary Teacher... I have NEVER had a calling that I have felt so fully unprepared and unworthy to do... But I am keeping the faith pressing forward... and I will do my best... I need the blessings and I know I will get tons more out of this calling than my students... Back to my temple recommend... At the end of May... the Stake Presidency gave me the okay!! So I had my recommend interviews and I have my temple recommend... and on July 22 I will be going to the the Nauvoo Temple!! Yipee!! I can't wait!!

Meg

Confessions of a Chat Addict...

What happened to the month of March? The last date I remember was around March 6th and I joined an LDS Chat site...

When you work all day with a non-verbal client and you go home to an empty house or to a teenager... talking to adults is such a blessing... even if it is thru typing...

Alas... the other night I realized that March had come and gone and I was a month behind on everything... paperwork...housework... so I have grounded myself from Chat... I tried to just cut back... but the addiction was too strong. I would log in just to see if anyone was chatting... then I was going to just pop in and say hi... hours later I am still chatting... One night I even stayed up until 2 am just chatting... I just love to meet new people and hear their stories... I am a chatter'er what can I say!!

Yesterday was the first day that I didn't chat... I went to the website and looked to see who was chatting and how many people were in the room... but I didn't log in until 10:45 pm and logged out at 11:00 pm sharp... And, I actually got some work done besides chat!! I watched Twilight and I got my client's OB notes caught up... at home I went with a friend to help measure high school students for prom tuxedos... and I picked up my bedroom did some laundry!! I even designed a logo for a new local restaurant that my friends are opening... Oh and I did some stuff on Facebook!!

Thru Chat, I have made some terrific girlfriends on chat and will keep in touch with them!! Just not all day every day!! So... Pinkie, Mappers, Fordruby, Ojen and Happymom I will miss you!!

A Creative Mess

A creative mess is better than tidy idleness...That is what Grandma B always said...

...and I had to remember that when I walked into my kitchen this morning at 7 am... I will always support my children in their creative endeavours... but my poor kitchen was a mess!! I didn't even ask Tory what time she went home... She called me several times while I was at the group home....I know about midnight I asked her not to call again...I wanted to get some sleep!!

I think sacrificing my kitchen for the sake of creativity was worth the price... Tory did clean up 98% of the mess... she will argue this... but she did leave me some to clean up and a whole dishwasher to empty!!

Meg

Settling Down

I am happy to report that things are settling down around here..

1. Heater - FIXED
2. Computer - FIXED
3. Client - Much better
4. Melissa - Back to normal
5. Water Heater FIXED
6. Mini Van - Still DEAD... with no replacement yet

After a week of feeling like I was never going to get enough sleep... and always having a nagging headache... This morning I woke up feeling like myself again!!

Meg

Taking it ALL in STRIDE!!

Did I learn my lesson about my adversities... I can say that I have passed the test!! Friday night I go into the kitchen to clean it up... I turn on the hot water... and hmmmm no hot water... no big deal I go down to the basement and I am going to relight the pilot light... I get it lit... and go back upstairs to wait for hot water so I can take a nice long hot bubble bath... About an hour goes by... and still no hot water... so I go back down to the basement and re-light the pilot light again... this time I stay and see what happens... it is only stays lit for a few minutes, before it goes out again... I try several times to get it lit and to stay that way but no such luck... Okay the water heater is dead...

I call the heater repairman that was just here at 3pm to replace the heater part... and get the heater working... I ask him if he works on water heaters... I tell him what is going on and he thinks he knows the problem and that he will be right over to see if he can fix it.

He comes over and guess what... he can't fix it. It is a problem with specific water heaters... I am able to call the company and have the parts shipped... they will be here Tuesday!!

So with ALL the other things going bad and/or breaking.... how did I handle the water heater going out! I have to report that I did take it in stride... I think it will be Melissa that will suffer more than I will... I am at the group home all weekend... so I will take my showers here!! Melissa said she will just go to friends houses....

I have learned one lesson this week about adversity... I think I have another one still yet to learn... I am up for anything that happens!!

Meg

I am thankful for my adversities...I am thankful for my adversities...I am thankful for my adversities...

Since Friday and the accident my stress has been building... and more and more things keep going wrong... So, I begin to count them...

1. My car is dead (Friday)
2. Melissa has a concussion and I worried about her health (Friday-Wed)
3. The house heater isn't working right. I purchase and install a new thermostat... no help so I call repairman. He comes figures out the problem... has to have part shipped. Weather is going to get frigid again... and I am out of wood. (Tuesday)
4. My client has some health issues Tuesday night and we are at the ER from 11pm to 3am. We come home and she is awake most of the night... not feeling well... since she is awake so am I....(Tuesday thru Wednesday)
5. Melissa has to have a CAT SCAN and I have to be at the hospital. I have to call in staff to be with client. (Wednesday)

So I have 5 things broken or breaking down... if things happen in 3's... I am starting to wonder what is next... I am feeling like I just can't take one more thing.... it's just too much. Why am I being tested like this? What did I do to deserve all this? I am trying so hard to improve my self and my life... it just isn't fair!!!

Melissa and I get good news from her CAT SCAN... she is fine!! No damage to her head or brain.. I could have told the doctor that... she is an Abreu...RIGHT!! I get my morning shower at 3 pm... I have Divorce Care group tonight... should I go? I have a good excuse not to go...no sleep. I decided that I need to go, because once I find a good excuse not to go... it only gets easier to find other excuses... I get dressed and ready to go... I am able to take the most uncomfortable mini nap I've ever taken... wake up and head to Maryville...

As I am driving to Maryville I am thinking... I am running right on time. I have to stop at Tory's and drop off my camera so she can use it... and some ranch sunflower seeds. I will only have enough time to give Abbers a quick kiss then off to class... I then start having a my own little pity party because of all the things going wrong! Poor little me...I am looking up the road and I see a car cross the yellow line, then I see it swerved to miss a truck, over corrects and hits the ditch and rolls.

I can't believe what I just saw. I just watched a roll over accident. I pull over. Grab my cell phone. Run towards the car while dialing 911...It was a lot harder to do than it sounds. The driver is conscious... and talking. She is upside down with her head in the passenger seat and her feet in the drivers seat and her butt up in the air. She wasn't wearing a seat belt. The 911 dispatcher asks me where I am located... and you know what? I didn't have a clue to what highway I was on... I know the way I need to go to get to Maryville... But, I don't know the numbers of the roads... the dispatcher runs the GPS on my phone and gets our location... by this time more people have stopped to help.... I wasn't much help because the 911 dispatcher wanted me to maintain contact with her... so I kept the dispatcher updated on the condition of the lady in the car. The accident victim wanted us to move her to make her more comfortable... being upside down, must have been miserable. But, we all knew we couldn't move her... it took forever to get the first responders there...I have never heard a sound so welcoming as the sirens... I knew she was hurt pretty bad as there was a large puddle of blood on the floor under the passenger seat. Once the EMT's arrived the decision was made to have Life Flight come in to transport her out. So, she was hurt pretty bad.

When I got off the phone with 911... I looked at the accident scene and I felt so ashamed at how I had been having they pity party. I felt so blessed to have MY trivial little problems. I decided that I will try never to complain about what I am having to face and I will welcome my adversities as growth potential... and because I now know how quickly they can get worse.

Meg... feeling pretty humble right now

Mini Vans... DO NOT OFF ROAD!!

On Friday the 13th... The weather man was calling for a horrific snow storm to hit NW Missouri... we could have received up to 8" of snow. Melissa had a doctors appointment in King City about a 20 minute drive from Albany... she made it there fine. The weather changed while she was at the doctors office... on the way home she hit a slick spot and went off roading.... my mini van didn't survive... it's DEAD!!

Melissa is just fine... The air bags went off and gave her a mild concussion and she has a tiny mark on her neck where the seat belt rubbed... and it is maybe only a 1/2" long.

I was working at the flower shop... do you know how busy a flower shop is the day before Valentine's Day? The phone rings non-stop. I receive the call from Melissa... and getting a call from one of your children crying is not good. She explained to me what happened and I figured out where she was.... I made sure she was OKAY!! I called the Sheriff, who Melissa babysits for, and told him about the accident and the location... as soon as I hung up the phone I left the flower shop to go to the scene... the road were slick so I had to go slow... When I got to the scene and I saw the van... I was so grateful I already knew Melissa was okay... because it didn't look good... The Sheriff and the paramedics were all ready there!! I felt so blessed to see so many people that know us... Tim, the Sheriff; Noah and Becky the EMT's. It felt so good to know that Melissa was in loving hands... That is one reasons why I LOVE living in a small rural town....

Now I have to find a new car... not new NEW... but new to me!!

Meg

F A I T H

Since I have re-directed my life back on to the right path... God... Christ... and Church... I've had a lot of spiritual experiences... Recently I feel that my faith is being tested. On fast Sunday I had an issue that I needed confirmation on. I made my decision of how I felt it needed to be handled. I decided to take the path of least resistance... the one I felt would maintain a sense peace in my life and the lives of those I love! Well, I began my fast with a prayer asking for confirmation on my decision... I was so sure this was going to be a piece of cake... NOPE... The next morning I got an answer that totally floored me!! My answer was... NOT to take to take the easy road... but to confront, to hold firm and to stand up for myself. I was so stunned... I was so confused. Did I hear right? Did I get the answer from the right source? So, I went to my Branch President and told him what I was feeling. He then confirmed that when I first told him about the situation that he knew then that I needed to stand up for myself... So... a week goes by and I am still struggling with what I am suppose to do... The next Sunday comes around and I still have not done a thing... so again I go to the Branch President and I ask for a blessing... Monday comes around and I don't do anything... I am so full of fear... Tuesday comes around... and I finally decided that I need to face my fear... so I faced the person I needed to talk to... and it wasn't bad at all and I can't believe I wasted so much time and energy worrying... I should have gone by faith and did what the Lord asked me to in the first place!!

This past Sunday in Sunday School... the first scripture the teacher asked to be read was D&C 8:10. The one I needed most the past few weeks... The scripture is so plain and so simple. That is why I didn't give it a fancy graphics treatment... plain and simple... it's faith!!

A few of my favorite things...

Tonight as I was making my dinner... BLT's. I was thinking how much I really love a good BTL... Lots of tomatoes and lettuce, the bread toasted just right, loads of (turkey) bacon, mayo on both sides of the bread... and just the right amount of mustard to give it a nice tang... mmmm. That first perfect bite, where you taste all the flavors... and before the sandwich falls apart in your hands... oh that is a little bit of heaven. I also started thinking of other things I really love... but many might not know about me... so I compiled a list... How well do you really know me?

1. BLT Sandwiches


2. Walking in the rain and splashing in puddles


3. Smiling at people, just to see them smile back


4. The Carpenters


5. Eating frozen Ding Dongs


6. Watching old black and white movies


7. Exploring new places with someone or alone


8. Picking wild flowers


9. Gardening in my barefeet


10. Holding hand... with my kids, loved ones or someone special

Meg

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words...

The words her coach said are pretty cool too!! I am a very proud of my daughter and all that she accomplishes... Not only does she play sports... she has straight A's and she works part time!!

Meg

I miss being....

Oh I miss being "Super Mom"... when the kids were all little they would bring home colds and the flu. They would pass it amongst each other... I would hug.. kiss and love on them and I rarely got the flu... How could I.. with 6 kids in 10 years... I was just too busy to get sick... When one of the kids would say... "I can't kiss you Mom, I'll get you sick!"...I would smile and reply back..."No you won't I am 'Super Mom" and she doesn't get sick". And I do have to admit... I rarely got the flu... Do you remember the Asian Flu back in the 80's... I do, becasue that one I did get... it was 1986... Oh I was sick with that one!! Then in the early 90's Christmas Eve... I had 2 kids on the couch already with the flu... Santa was waiting for them to stop throwing up so she could bring the presents out... She waited as long as she could... She brought out the presents... and poor Christy found out who Santa really was... in the wee hours of the morning...as I made my bed on the floor and I was getting ready to lay down and go to sleep... I felt my stomach... oh I had the flu too... I didn't get any sleep that Christmas Eve...

So that brings me to today... I woke up feeling just fine... went to work for just 4 hours. I was feeling like yea...extra time off... I'll get some stuff done... Came home... made lunch... ate lunch... then the pain started... ooohhh it hurt... my stomach really hurt... I took some tums... no relief... Christy called to tell me about her fantastic day... I couldn't concentrate on the conversation... I hurt when I stood up... It hurt when I laid down... I took some more tums... no relief... I couldn't read.. I couldn't watch TV... I couldn't even lay in bed and suffer... So I grabbed my phone and made some work calls...

I was beginning to think I was having an appendicitis or something... it really hurt... BTW...I am a big baby when I get sick... so I may be over exaggerating... well to finish this up... I ended up getting rid of everything in my stomach... I fell asleep for several hours... woke up pain free.. but stiff and ached all over... Tomorrow I will stay home and rest and fell get 100% again!!

I think one of the worst things... now that the kids are grown and gone... I didn't have anyone to take are of me... that is until Melissa came home from school... she went and bought me a 7-up!!

Alone

Everyday I am amazed at how many feelings anger can block. The past couple of weeks I am learning what it really feels like to be alone. The first week was not fun at all... for me I felt like I wanted to cry...and my chest felt hollow... like a piece was missing. I wasn't in the best mood... a good night sleep was only had when I was finally exhausted enough to sleep all night long...

This week I started to read a book that my friend Tammy told me about called, The Peacegiver... It is a novel with some deep messages within the story. It's made me think a lot about me, my life and the choices I've made. Some I am happy with, others...hmmm not so happy with. As long as I keep trying all will be okay! The book is about forgiving others... but I am hearing another message about being alone and that I am not alone... even when I feel alone I am not. I am learning to lean on Heavenly Father when I feel alone and lonely... I am also learning that I need to base my decisions on my conversations with him thru prayer... and not based on a poll of my friends :) I need to let Heavenly Father lead me and guide me and teach me what I need to learn... Hey!! I know that song!!

Last night was Divorce Care... I am always excited to go and learn more. Each week we watch a DVD with a message from several experts in the field of divorce. Therapists and counselors mainly... The topic was going to be on depression... but the DVD player quit working so we are going to be behind one week... which also gives me another week to work in the workbook about anger... my ex-best buddy :) ... My new best buddy is HOPE...

I did get to go and see Little Miss Abby... She is such a doll!! We sat on the floor and played with her toys... Tory got to play on the computer and Brent watched TV...

Meg...

Memories.....

Here are the rules:

1. As a comment on my blog, leave a memory that you & I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!
2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog & see how many people leave a memory about you. It should be funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you are playing the game & I'll come to your blog & leave one about you (or if you don't have a blog I will e-mail you my memory!) I am following Karyann Hoopes who posted this, it looked like fun, I hope you'll play along!

Meg

WEIGH IN DAY #1

Eating very healthy for the past two weeks and drinking plenty of water has paid off!! For the first weigh in I have lost 5 lbs!! Yea!! I wanted to lose 8 lbs... but I am not complaining... For the next two weeks I have to step up and exercise... That is going to be the key to losing weight this time around!!

I do have to admit that eating healthy sure does make a person feel better... I am not doing any sort of diet... my plan is just to eat HEALTHIER... Lots of fresh fruits and veggies... cut way back on the simple carbs and eat more complex carbs... I am going to try to cut sugar and dairy completely out of my diet... I already eat only lien meats... I can tell you the last time I ate a steak was on my birthday back in September... I don't even buy hamburger anymore... I buy ground turkey... lots of chicken... and some pork (only when Melissa isn't around).

There is a show on the BBC... don't remember the name of it and the dietitian on the show recommended cutting out dairy and all processed foods... She goes into the home of REALLY fat people and shows them all the food they consume in a week... then she shows them how to improve their diet and how to get more exercise... I might have to start watching it every Saturday to get some ideas.... The thing I picked up on one show was that eating azuki bean (red beans) is really good for you!! Do you think I can find azuki beans around here anywhere.... heck no!!

A little information on these magic beans...

azuki bean = adzuki bean = Tiensin red bean = aduki bean = asuki bean = field pea = red Oriental bean = feijao bean = red chori

Equivalents: 1 cup dried yields 3 cups cooked beans Pronunciation: a-ZOO-kee Notes: The Japanese use these small red beans to make sweet red bean paste, but they're also good in rice dishes or salads. Azuki beans are sweet and relatively easy to digest, so they won't make you as gassy as other beans. They also don't take as long to cook. Substitutes: black azuki beans OR red kidney beans OR Tolosana beans

If anyone has any good recipes that uses azuki beans... please share.... I will share with you too!!

Meg...

Hasta Luego

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same.

~Flavia Weedn

Meg

Anger

Did you know that anger in it's self is not bad...? but it's what you do with your anger is what makes it bad... that is what I learned in my counseling group, divorce care last week. Our lesson was all about the different types of anger and the good and bad ways to express your anger...

When I went to class I knew what the topic was about... and since I have been working on letting go of some anger that I have been carrying around... and doing pretty well. I was thinking that "oh I have this one in the bag..." What is that quote... " Want to see God laugh, tell him your plans!!" So I was tested... and I have found that I have a ways to go..

Then today... I got so angry with myself. I am so mad for sitting these last couple years and being stagnant...not moving forward with the issues in my life. Most of the reason why I was just sitting because I was living with my anger... and letting it dictate what I did. I knew back last May that I was being emotionally stunted by my anger... When Tory gave birth to Abby... I was so happy, but I didn't cry tears of joy and that isn't like me at all. I was also was holding on to the anger because knew I had a lot of pain that I wasn't ready to feel. So, I just sat back and let life pass me by... and now that I am ready to move on... I have to go back and take care of the things that I didn't take care of... I have to go thru the emotions that I've surpressed... this isn't going to be fun. But I know it will be worth it!!

In thee, O Lord, do I put my trust; let me never be ashamed: deliver me in thy righteousness.
Bow down thine ear to me; deliver me speedily: be thou my strong rock, for an house of defence to save me. For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me. Pull me out of the net that they have laid privily for me: for thou art my strength. Into thine hand I commit my spirit: thou hast redeemed me, O Lord God of truth.
~Psalms 31:1-5

Thank goodness for prayer and for a Heavenly Father that is loving and forgiving... He has so much patience with me... and, I have learned from him to have patience with myself and take one day at a time and one issue at a time. I know I will come thru all of this with my smile intact... I promise....

Speaking of promises... I was given the following poem from Nila who got it from Nicole.... I did some research and found that it is the Optimist Creed written in 1912 by Christian Larson

Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.

To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

Christian D. Larson
1912

Love ya...Meg

Hope

Yesterday I woke up way before dawn and was having a rough time...I sat in the dark and pondered and prayed as I watch the night turn to day... ... I was feeling a wave of emotions just under the surface and afraid to let them out. It felt like I just needed to have a good cry... but what if I did? What would be next... what was behind this first wave... was it just one good cry or was it more... I didn't know and I was afraid to find out....So I walked around yesterday in a weird place... all day I guarded my feelings and temperament... Not an easy thing to do!!

I went to bed feeling the same way... this morning again I woke up before dawn and this morning I was ready to tackle what ever I needed to face... I grabbed my ipod choose some of my favorite inspirational music.... turned it up loud... and let the what ever emotions the music evoked come forth... as I cried.... I listened to the message ... and I learned...about how much Heavenly Father loves me and cares about me. And, I was able to walk away smiling, with the knowledge that....




Hope in myself and in my future....

Meg

For the beauty of the earth, For the Beauty of the skies...

This morning I woke up to my world covered in a fresh blanket of white. It was so beautiful and peaceful. I grabbed my camera, put on my snow boots and my heavy jacket and went for a walk around my house and tried to capture the peacefulness I was feeling.

I love snowy days like today... Not too much snow. Not too cold. No wind. And, before the rest of the world wakes up and before the snow plows come out... there is such a quiet peacefulness that I just can't pass up. I am amazed at the beauty that Heaven Father has created for us to enjoy.

I was able to capture the peace not only in pictures but also in my heart and carry it with me all day.

Meg

My Top 10 Favorites of Winter

1. Cold pink noses and cheeks... with happy warm smiles

2. Wood heat making my floors warm and toasty

3. Christmas

4. Watching it snow... from inside

5. Warm woolly sweaters

6. Snowmen

7. Hot cocoa with marshmallows

8. Home made soups and fresh baked bread

9. Snuggling to keep warm

10. Jack Frost painting beautiful designs on my widows

With more than several weeks of winter still to come... I thought I would remind myself of the things that make me smile about winter... BYW... the pictures are NOT from me... I got them from the internet

Meg

Goal for 2009

Back in 2003 my niece, Shar came up with a mantra for her goal ... I took her example and did the same for myself... Looking forward too meeting this goal!!

Meg

TOP 10 of 2008

1. Abrielle Jean
2. group home opening
3. moving to new home
4. losing almost 30 lbs
5. Jolene coming home
6. Angel coming home
7. Tory and Brent graduation
8. Seeing and spending time with Curtis and Stefanie
9. thanksgiving dinner around MY dining room table
10. Never forgetting I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and never gives up on me!!

I know this is late... but as you can read in previous posts that things have not been real calm since the New Year. 2008 was great... and I am expecting 2009 to be even better. I can say that I am happy with where I am at... I love my family and especially my children and my grand-daughters... they all are the light of my life... If I could have one wish granted I would wish to have all of us together for just one day... to play together and have some fun and make some fresh new memories.

My kids who are around me... we are all so busy with school and work that we don't take the time to play together... and those who live far away... we don't get to see each other often enough... I love you all SO much...

This year we will PLAY!! and Play often...

Meg (AKA MOM)

Completly

Completely,
wanna give my love completely
I'd rather be alone than be in love just half the way
I want to find someone that I can trust

Completely,
wanna give my heart completely
To someone who'll completely give their heart to only me
And when I find that one
That's when I'll fall in love

Completely,
Not half but whole
With heart and soul
Completely
Not in between
But everything

Completely
That's the way it's gotta be
The way I want someone to fall in love with me
Forever wanna feel the word forever
And know there'll be somebody there forever by my side
And when that feeling comes
That's when I'll give my love

Completely,
Not half but whole
With heart and soul
Completely
Not in between
But everything

It's all or nothing at all for this heart of mine
And I won't give up this heart till the day I find
Someone who needs me

Completely,
Not half but whole
With heart and soul
Completely
Not in between
But everything

The way I need someone to fall in love with me

Biggest Loser... Starts again...

The Albany Community Betterment is once again sponsoring The Biggest Loser.... We weigh in next Tuesday and then every other Tuesday until May 26th. Last year I lost 30 lbs.... I admit I have gained some back... I am still in my skinny jeans... they are tight... but I can still zip them...

Anyone willing to make a lifestyle change with me? You don't have to live in Albany to do this with me.... All you have to do is have a scale available... every other Tuesday!!

This year...

I WILL exercise at least 3 times a week!

I WILL drink 32 0z of water a day!

I WILL enjoy eating more fruits and vegetables!

Meg

A Whole Day OFF!!

I got off work yesterday at 3 pm and I don't have to go back until sometime tomorrow... I was so excited to sleep in my own bed... all snuggled down in my queen size bed... with Goober down at my feet. I went to bed thinking I was going to read for a little while... fall asleep and sleep all night long! Heck no!! I slept horrible... I kept waking up all night long.. at three I had to make a bathroom run at around 3am then I couldn't fall back to sleep so I read some more... I finally fell back to sleep, only to wake back up at 6am...and there was no way I was going to start my day at 6am... so I made myself go back to sleep... this time to wake up at 8am... feeling horrible and the beginnings of a headache....

I went and put wood on the stove... and grabbed a blanket and a cup of herbal tea... and watched Third Watch that I Tivo'd... so what did I do with the rest of my day....


Melissa made sure I knew what needed to get done.... she made me a to do list... gotta love her!! As you can see I did get a few things done... I did get the basement floor swept... but bringing in wood always makes it a mess again... and with single digit temperatures... I've been bringing in the wood... I also got a short nap in today too!!

Meg

Choices...and the choice is mine

I met a new friend the other day... and for only having a couple of conversations with them... and with what I call their quiet widsom... they have helped me to open my eyes and heart to a whole new perspective... I asked them what their favorite parable was and their response was the 10 Virgins... because they had just read it and it was fresh in their minds... my reply was I didn't like that one because I am so disorganized I will never be ready for my prince when he comes... their response was...something like... it's all in my choices....

Their reply wasn't telling me what I need to do or not to do.... it was simply "it was all in my choices". what a profounding thought... Oh I didn't not like the sound of that one... the choice was mine... that thought has rolled around in my head for days...

When I went to Church on Sunday... I went with a whole new attitude. Yes... my poor lamp has been neglected... it has taken a few tumbles and it has a few chips in it... and my oil is way low ... way too low... but with some time(faith), some polish(prayer) and some work(obedience)... my lamp will be worthy to hold all the oil I put in it... I feel so GOOD!

Now... this morning I wake up and feeling low... I am at work again.... I love my work... but I love my own bed better... I am feeling defeated... I think about my New Years Resolution for the past 2 years... I want control back of my life... I feel like it is going faster and faster and I am losing control and there is going to be a terrible crash... we me hurt!! Well this morning I had a "Well Duh" moment... I don't need to take control of my life... I need to turn my life over to the Lord! I know how simple that sounds... but it was such a difficult concept to see when I was in my slump... I know those who really know me and love me know exactly what I am talking about... thank you so much for all your prayers and good thoughts that you sent my way!! I sure can feel them now.... and I'm Back!

And to my new friend... good luck to you in all that you do...and may you always pass on your quiet wisdom to those you meet.

Oh! and the picture collage are pictures I took last year of the St. Louis Temple... when I drove Gene and Nila to see the specialist for Gene!! I am so glad Ittok the time to get out in the horrid heat and take them... they mean so much more to me now that they did when I took them... I kept wondering why I was taking them... They sure give me such joy and hope now...

Meg... feeling more hopeful than I have in a long time.

Okay! Okay!! Okay!!!

I call "UNCLE"... I will BLOG!! Life has been more than just the usual CrAZy around here... My client's Mom called and told me that she would be coming to get her on the 23rd and keeping her until the 28th... Christy flew down to Florida to spend time with Joshua... I think the 80* weather had a lot to do with her decision to go...

On Christmas Eve I got busy and finished up Christmas stuff... I sat at home and watched chick flicks and wrapped presents... I cleaned the house and got all I could get ready completed... We went over to Nila and Gene's and had our traditional Christmas Eve dinner and reading of the Christmas Story... We all laughed and remembered the fights and tears of who would get to put baby Jesus in the manger... Angel got to do it with no fights... Maybe in a few years she will have to share the honor with Abby... When we were done reading we opened the traditional Christmas Eve gift... Pajama's!!

I have some fun memories of celebrating Christmas eve... The time we had the cousins act out the characters... The time at Thanksgiving each cousin was assigned a manger scene character and had to use their artistic abilities and create there character then share it on Christmas Eve... My fondest Christmas Eve was in 1996 right after my Mom passed away.... I had lots of family surround me with their love and support... I had 26 people over to my house and we laughed and rejoiced in the spirit of the holiday!!

Back to this year... On Christmas morning Melissa had me up so she could open all her presents... She told me she had waited her whole life for these 2 years where she would be an only child! And she would be spoiled. The rest of the family was scheduled to come over at 10:30am for the continuation of the presents... We had fun!!

I made Christmas dinner.... Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberries, ham, corn and green beans... and home made rolls!! For dessert Jolene made pumpkin pie and I made cheesecake... we were as usual too full to eat dessert...

At some point during the day we played "Trouble" ... I quit early because Abby needed a bottle. After everyone left I cleaned up so I could sleep in on 12/26... and sleep in I did... I got up and was a couch potato... I didn't even get on the computer... I might have but the lap top was at the group home and I was to lazy to get up and go into the office and get on the desk top... about the only thing I got up to do was to go to the basement and stoke the wood stove.. or get something to eat...In the late after noon I got a call from my clients mom asking me if we had fed her something different...because she was having an itching reaction and Benadryl was not working...
I didn't know of anything...

After being a literal bum for 2 days... I get a call from clients Mom and they are headed to ER because She is in such distress... They gave her more meds and sent us on her way... On Monday a her condition didn't improve... I took her to her regular Dr and she didn't know... Monday night we were back in the ER because we could not get the itching to stop... more meds and back home. Tuesday we had appointments at her Neurologist and Dermatologist... more meds again... this time they say she has a skin condition. She has to have all her clothes washed in fragrance FREE detergent... Wednesday she seems better and I am a laundry hag... I washed ALL her clothes and blankets... Thursday she is bad again.... but we can keep her comfortable... Friday she is getting worse.... Friday night we are back at the ER... The fill her full of antihistamines and sedatives... She sleeps Friday night... They are just keeping her doped up to keep her comfortable... Saturday night I have a talk with her mom and we decided she needs to be under the care of the Dr who has treated her since first diagnosed with Rett's... I call the Dr and we get it set up to have her transferred down to St. Joe to Heartland... Monday I go with her by ambulance to Heartland and we get checked in... They decide to change her seizure meds... She stops itching... but she is a totally different girl... for being non-verbal she sure was verbal Tuesday morning... some words you can understand... like pizza... she said pizza over and over again. Since she was no longer on IV we went for a walk down the halls and she was just talking to anyone or anything... it was so fun to watch her... she had miserable for so long!! Her euphoria lasted all day... and all night long... I finally climbed into bed with her to get her to calm down and go to sleep...and of course just as she falls asleep the CNA comes in to take her vitals.. .I asked him.... "Do you HAVE to do that now? I just got her to sleep!!" He left and didn't come back until she was awake... When I asked the Dr about her euphoria she said it is her coming off the old medication and her getting use to the new one... Each day when I wake her up I wonder who will she be today.... On Thursday she was once again verbal and active.... she was up and down off the couch... and talking to the TV.... yesterday she had an attitude and spit breakfast on me and tried to hit me... I just grab her and give her hugs... that always calms her down... This morning she is just happy and calm... Whew... what a week!! I am glad she is home and back on track!!

Meg