Abuse is abuse... it's that simple...

As a read a friends blog last week... I found that I was looking thru her blog trying to find the BIG blow up... the ONE good reason for her to divorce her husband. Isn't that what society tells us...? we have to have concrete evidence that our husband was bad to us..before we can file for divorce... I never found that post... but I didn't find that she endured a lot of verbal and mental abuse!!! Something we have in common....

Since the beginning of my current relationship/marriage with Steve... There are times I am in such awe of the way he treats me...He treats me so amazingly well.. such a huge difference from my first marriage, the only other relationship I have known... I have found that I need to talk about the differences... to verbalize about how nice it is to be treated so sweetly, because I am use to being treated like crap.... and I would explain to Steve, what I am use too... Several friends and family members have suggested that I STOP comparing my 2 relationships... and for a few weeks I did... but after reading my friends blog and thinking about what I lived thru I have come to the conclusion that I am NOT comparing... I am verbalizing, acknowledging and accepting that I was ABUSED!!

I was not physically abused... I was never hit... I was never physically forced to do anything I didn't want to do... I don't have bruises or scars that the world can see!! I was verbally and mentally abused... the abuse went on for so long I didn't even realize I was abused... Towards the end of the relationship I knew I was a victim and I was tired of being one... I just didn't know how to break the cycle of abuse!! Except for end the marriage... but how?

The scars from verbal and mental abuse last for as long as you let them torment you... By acknowledging the abuse and by talking about it I am able to free it... I can let it go... I can say that is no longer my life... and I can move on!! This is my process... and it's working... once I talk about a certain situation... the memory turns to dust and I am able to just blow it away!!